The Good Patrons of 750 Words

1 cup

I believe there is a benefit for doing these pages, but I sure would like some kind of reward. (I think this should be a reward in itself, I hear the wee voice in my head saying) Yes, I am sure. But, what if someone of authority stated that by writing morning pages, one day you will have a novel pop into your head, or you would be able to find that passion that you were looking for, or it would help you succeed in whatever endeavor you are seeking, even Nirvana. Well, I would certainly sit up and pay attention to that! What if he/she said your mind will be cleared, your heart will be open and you will find that essence that have been in your heart all this time, from the day you were conceived and you will meet your ultimate destiny and live a long and fulfilled and prosperous life. Notice I put “long” as I would sure pray for having a while to experience my life. There is so much to learn and do. Yet, I tend to wittle my days away with no specific purpose in mind, just, you know, fudging. Going back to this concept I am trying to articulate, if I found someone like that and I trusted that person then I would be motivated to do these morning pages. I think of people that I have come to admire and love and who I believed in. That would be Doug Olson, my loving minister; Tom Wilhite, PSI’s founder; my wonderful sister Pat; Oprah (Oh I love her passion and drive); Esther Jenkins, my shaman teacher. These trusted ones are gone now, save for Oprah and Esther Jenkins. As far as I know Esther is doing well, running her Shaman Classes. Oprah doesn’t know me, but I have greatly benefitted from her great shows. So, if I could imagine that that one of these marvelous people were to tell me to trust these morning pages and that it would greatly benefit me in the way as I’ve mentioned, I would believe them. So, how do I cross that veil from imagining to reality? I remember Doug saying that we make it up anyway. So, if I had him sitting here he would say, “Donna, I can guarantee you that if you are faithful to writing your 750 words (i.e. morning pages) every day that you will gain enormous knowledge as to what makes you tick. And when you know what makes you tick, you will know your own personal passion, and once you know your own personal passion, you will know your purpose and once you know your purpose you will do that which will benefit all of humankind and once you do that you will have a long fulfilled and prosperous life!” Wow, that is what he would say. Granted and assuming all is true. But, you know what? I get this. Because I already know that the more I write the more I understand myself. I KNOW this. I just answered my own question…with the help of all my beloved angels, including Margo, my dog, who loved me as I am. I am so blessed I truly am. Maybe I don’t need the angst of not knowing, because I do. Well, what do you say to that – I am my own best Guru!